Co-parenting can be very emotionally charged during the dissolution of a marriage or partnership, and harmonious effective communication can require extra work and self-editing. This extra work can be the most impactful work you do for the well-being of children needing safety and stability. If there is a custody dispute your communications may be scrutinized to determine your willingness and ability to co-parent, manage your anger, and share important information and check if there is veracity to allegations of poor co-parenting. E-mails, texts, voicemails and even videos may be submitted for to an arbiter so that they can make decisions on the behalf of your child/ren.
Having a trusted friend, family member, legal assistant therapist or coach vet your communications can save you from saying something that sounds controlling, aggressive, snarky or misleading. In addition, there are websites and apps that can help you as you learn to communicate effectively with your co-parent. Again, it can be difficult to take the time and energy to figure out the best way to communicate, but the pay off is huge. Below are a few tools that can help you if you use them.
1. Our Family Wizard
Our Family Wizard (ourfamilywizard.com) was created by a divorced couple. This platform is intended to foster harmonious communication between co-parents. It is one of the original tools designed for co-parents and their kids. Families can share messages, expenses, events, and even add professional accounts including their mediator or therapist. There is a really helpful optional add-on called ToneMeter, which is an “emotional spell check,” can alert you to language that has negative tones, and give you alternatives to avoid a potential argument.
2. Talking Parents
Talking Parents (talkingparents.com) aims to avoid co-parenting disputes by having an unalterable record of past conversations. It has a feature called Accountable Calling which records phone calls between co-parents without disclosing either user’s phone number and is complete with call recordings and transcripts. It also has Secure Messaging and a Shared Calendar.
3. Coparently
Coparently (coparently.com) offers all the tools one would need to make co-parenting easier. With color-coded custody calendars, a secure messaging center, printable records for shared expenses, and a shared online directory, it’s something you should definitely check out. You can even add your kids to the account, helping with communication and the decision-making process.
4. Cozi
Cozi (cozi.com) is a Mom’s Choice award-winning program that lets you create shared calendars, shopping lists, to-do lists, and meal plans. With its user-friendly interface this free organizational tool helps keep coordinating complicated schedules conflict free.
5. 2Houses
2Houses (2houses.com) provide families a way to communicate with their co-parent more efficiently and effectively. When information gets lost in the piles of texts and emails, 2Houses allows users to exchange information, such as medical notes and school details, and stay organized. Other helpful features include messaging with mediator access and document storage.
The more resources and support you have and can utilize while navigating the sometimes emotionally fraught and complicated world of co-parenting, the better off you and your children will be.
Written by: Marit Marcus
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